Tag: fear of rejection


  • Ego Death is Torture Nobody Sees

    Ego death isn’t a breakthrough. It’s not enlightenment. It’s not a glow-up. It’s the violent collapse of an identity that was keeping you alive while quietly killing you. I ended patterns that were destroying me and detonated my nervous system in the process. I stopped avoiding. I stopped numbing. I stopped performing stability for other…

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  • Drowning in Guilt and Making Amends

    This piece was written after avoidance failed and accountability became unavoidable. Behind Old Bellingham City Hall, with the bass of Drowning in the Drip grounding me in my body, I stayed present with the harm I caused, the consequences I earned, and the amends I am making without asking for forgiveness. This is not a…

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  • Happy Valentine’s Day from Yours Truly

    Twenty-six years in a row I had someone by my side. Someone to pour my love into. Someone to anchor the day. This year, I’m alone. Because of my old patterns. This Valentine’s Day almost swallowed me whole until I said fuck that and rewrote the story. I walked the city hand-hearting strangers, giving away…

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  • The Subtle Art of the Irish Goodbye

    I’m living with an open heart and solid boundaries—and it feels really damn good. This piece is about choosing joy over fear, curiosity over conformity, and ethical connection over unhealthy attachment. It explores relationship anarchy, sobriety, self-trust, and the subtle art of the Irish goodbye as a way of protecting peace, staying aligned, and keeping…

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  • I Wasn’t Love and That Ended Us

    This is not a villain story. It is an accountability story. I’m not sharing details to justify myself or narrate someone else’s experience. I’m sharing impact, ownership, and the parts that belong to me. Without that, nothing that came after makes sense. Who I loved was real. What we built was real. And so was…

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