“I was the life of every party, and the death of every relationship.”
This is My Recovery.
No Anesthesia.
No Bullshit.
All love.
🥰
Tag: patterns
-
Ego death isn’t a breakthrough. It’s not enlightenment. It’s not a glow-up. It’s the violent collapse of an identity that was keeping you alive while quietly killing you. I ended patterns that were destroying me and detonated my nervous system in the process. I stopped avoiding. I stopped numbing. I stopped performing stability for other…
-
This piece was written after avoidance failed and accountability became unavoidable. Behind Old Bellingham City Hall, with the bass of Drowning in the Drip grounding me in my body, I stayed present with the harm I caused, the consequences I earned, and the amends I am making without asking for forgiveness. This is not a…
-
For a long time, accountability felt like punishment. Like a tally of my failures. Like proof that something was wrong with me. What I’m learning now is that real accountability is quieter and far more personal. It’s the willingness to look directly at my patterns without flinching, without turning that awareness into self-hatred, and turning…
-
Twenty-six years in a row I had someone by my side. Someone to pour my love into. Someone to anchor the day. This year, I’m alone. Because of my old patterns. This Valentine’s Day almost swallowed me whole until I said fuck that and rewrote the story. I walked the city hand-hearting strangers, giving away…
-
I woke up anxious and didn’t run. I faced anxiety and didn’t spiral. Thirty-seven days sober in the hardest season of my life, I chose movement over meltdown and discipline over drama. This dance isn’t performance. It’s proof. Identity death cracked me open, and what came back is steadier, sharper, and done selling out.