> life_of_every_party.ps1
> death_of_every_relationship.ps1
> terminate_toxic_patterns.ps1
> initiate_leveling_up.ps1
>
My Recovery and Healing Server.
My Programming Language.
My Operating System.My Applications. My Syntax.
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Tag: patterns
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A 5.7-mile loop through Bellingham, chasing circles instead of destinations—abstract color, quiet focus, and the joy of noticing what’s been there all along.
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After four years of silence, I took my body back—at night, on a downtown parkade, dancing without permission or apology. This wasn’t nostalgia. This was recovery in motion. A declaration that joy, movement, and instinct get to live here again. Free as a bird from my old patterns.
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This is not a villain story. It is an accountability story. Who I loved was real. What we built was real. And so was the damage I caused when fear, anxious attachment, and long-standing patterns took the wheel. I ended something meaningful in a way that created chaos, destabilization, and harm I cannot undo. When…
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Grief doesn’t disappear when you ignore it, it waits. Inspired by the way buffalo run straight into storms to get through them faster, this is a story about choosing to feel instead of numbing, crying instead of avoiding, and facing loss head-on. From a small, unexpected purchase to years of buried grief finally released, this…
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I didn’t fade out. I didn’t take a break. I disappeared on purpose. I deleted everything. My websites, my social media, my personas, my performance. No announcement. No explanation. Just gone. A hard reset. It was definitly more avoidance. It was also partly intervention. I forward-deployed into a war with my own patterns, knowing full…