> life_of_every_party.ps1
> death_of_every_relationship.ps1
> end_of_the_toxic_patterns.ps1
>
My Recovery and Healing Server.
My Programming Language.
My Operating System.My Applications. My Syntax.
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Tag: psych meds
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People have been continuing to label and stigmatize me. For months. A lot of people. A lot of labels. They all seem to have a name for what I am doing in my life now. They are all wrong. Isolating. Manic. Avoidant. Lonely. Shutting down. Concerning. Worrying. Arrogant. Self-centered. Narcissist. The unsolicited diagnoses, labels, and…
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Every city has a haunted house. Mine is all of downtown Bellingham. The bars, the alleys, the breakfast tables, the blocked contacts, the empty chairs. I changed my name, got sober, lost almost everyone I knew, and I still have to walk through all of it. Here’s what it looks like when your whole former…
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3.5 years. Two hospitalizations. One note that said “Get help” on an empty bedroom door. This is the story of my estrangement from my daughters, what I had to burn down to become someone worth coming back to, and how I found my way back to them. This is not a highlight reel. This is…
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For years, I thought my relentless dopamine chasing was a personal failure. Weak willpower. Poor discipline. Another addiction story. It turns out it was biology. Genetic testing confirmed what I’d long suspected: my brain is wired with significantly fewer dopamine receptors, making “normal” life feel chronically underpowered. That truth changed everything. Recovery stopped being a…
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This week, I finally stopped arguing with permanence. Not the things I can change—I know that dance well—but the things I can’t. Chronic conditions. Lifelong diagnoses. Bodies and brains that don’t magically “turn around” if I just try harder. In IFS terms, I hit a trailhead where perfection, fear, shame, and denial were all standing…