Tag: sobriety


  • Been a tad bumpy. You aren’t alone.

    The last few weeks have been some of the best of my life and some of the hardest. New partnerships, 17 mile walks, personal records, full heart. Also: a shame tornado, then a shame hurricane, then a second wave that took everything out. On my 199th day without smoking I had a lit cigarette in…

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  • The power and release, of control

    Five months ago I wrote an affirmation about healing my inner child. Today I drafted a message to someone who has been causing me pain for over a year, then deleted it without sending. That’s growth. That’s the whole point. I can’t control them, their path, or their desire to pull me back in. The…

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  • Fuck Nicotine

    Three weeks without a cigarette. Four days without nicotine. That alone feels unreal. What’s even clearer now is why I smoked. It was never random. It was an escape from discomfort. I got hurt, and I relapsed. Over and over. Cigarettes became how I painted over boredom, stress, anxiety, even happiness. One hour at a…

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