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Tukayote Helianthus v2
Walking away from suffering.Walking towards love.With intention.
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Tag: sobriety
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These months did not break me. They refined me. I screamed into the ocean. I cried alone. I walked through rain and sunlight. I watched the sun set from the safety of the pier whenever I could. I wrote amends. I kept my boundaries. I stayed true when it would have been easier to disappear.…
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Ego death isn’t a breakthrough. It’s not enlightenment. It’s not a glow-up. It’s the violent collapse of an identity that was keeping you alive while quietly killing you. I ended patterns that were destroying me and detonated my nervous system in the process. I stopped avoiding. I stopped numbing. I stopped performing stability for other…
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This piece was written after avoidance failed and accountability became unavoidable. Behind Old Bellingham City Hall, with the bass of Drowning in the Drip grounding me in my body, I stayed present with the harm I caused, the consequences I earned, and the amends I am making without asking for forgiveness. This is not a…
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I’m not interested in perfection or performative growth. I’m interested in staying honest with myself, choosing safer behaviors, and continuing forward even when it’s uncomfortable. Accountability is how I respect myself. It’s how I protect my healing. And it’s how I build a life that doesn’t require me to abandon myself to survive it.
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At sunset on the pier, in the middle of grief I didn’t know how to finish feeling, a complete stranger stepped into my life and quietly changed everything. She didn’t ask for details, explanations, or context. She offered warmth, presence, and long, steady hugs that held my nervous system when words couldn’t. For thirty minutes,…