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My Recovery and Healing Server.
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Category: Mentals and Recovery
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The last three weeks have exhausted me. I’m exhausted, restless, anxious, and juggling consequences from years of medications that keep me alive while quietly wrecking my body. Akathisia, brutal side effects, diabetes, sleep apnea, and yet another possible med change—all while quitting cannabis, nicotine, caffeine, energy drinks, and everything else I used to lean on.…
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Meet Roxy: my fiercest protector and most relentless firefighter. Her job is simple—keep me away from fear at any cost. Her weapon is dopamine. When alcohol and nicotine were taken off the table, she didn’t disappear; she adapted. Food became the new delivery system. What I’m learning is uncomfortable but crucial: addiction doesn’t vanish when…
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Today marks a powerful turning point in my recovery. One year sober from alcohol, 90 days free from kratom, and nearly a full year without cigarettes. Recovery isn’t about perfection, it’s about honesty, intention, and choosing health over numbness. I’m stepping away from substances that no longer serve me, using harm reduction where needed, and…
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2025 is the year I strip everything away to find my true mental health baseline. No alcohol. No cannabis. No kratom. No dopamine chasing. Just me, my brain, and the hard questions I’ve been avoiding for years. I want to know who I am without numbing, without escape, without outsourcing fear management to addiction. Alcohol…
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Almost 8 days. Then anxiety won, Roxy showed up, and I burned one down. My body hated it. Pulse in the low 100s, miserable, high, and uncomfortable for hours. I also injured my ankle trying to walk the anxiety out beforehand. Cowboy talked me off the shame ledge and reminded me I’m doing my best.…