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My Recovery and Healing Mainframe.
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> death_of_every_relationship.ps1
> recovery.ps1
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"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month."-Theodore Roosevelt
Tag: bipolar disorder
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DARVO taught me that a factual letter about a legitimate relationship problem isn’t a manic episode and a written boundary doesn’t stop existing because someone says it does. What I learned about deny, attack, reverse victim and offender, and what it looks like when the reversal gets spread to others.
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Two hundred days completely sober from every chemical, gotten in the hardest chapter of my life. Grief lodge, amends without asking forgiveness, being stalked and labeled by people I once trusted and loved, months of nervous system hell, a five year no contact order finally expiring, the manifesto that guided me, a peer support circle…
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I was not a bad partner in any of my past relationships. I was an unmanaged one, running on addiction, undiagnosed autism and PDA, and patterns that took years to intentify and kill. Understanding why does not excuse the damage. This is the difference between being a villain and being a system with the wrong…
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Six or seven years ago, three Bellingham Police Department units pulled into a parking lot behind my Jeep and I didn’t even notice them following me. They didn’t take me to jail. They took me to One Central. That psychiatric hospitalization was a single link in a chain of events that stretches back to the…
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When you change in a way that is real and visible and costs you everything, some people will reach for a clinical word to explain it. Manic-bullshit. Episode. Red flag. They are not doing it to help you. It is DARVO. They are doing it because your transformation makes them uncomfortable, and gaslighting you and…