Fear of being alone drove every single destructive pattern and decision I ever made. I didn’t know that for most of my life. I just kept running the program. On May 6, 2026, my no contact order expired at midnight and I walked to the pier alone, happy, sober, and left there completely free for…
November 2023, I stood at Heather Meadows the day before my psychiatric crisis and had no idea what was coming. Today I went back. Same mountain. Not even close to the same person. This is what closing circles actually looks like.
Awareness isn’t a step on the road to change. It is the entire road. Without it, you’re not on the road at all. You’re just in a field somewhere doing donuts in the dark. From peer support work to IFS parts work to a stormy Tuesday in Bellingham where I’m still processing a decision that…