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My Recovery and Healing Mainframe.
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"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month."-Theodore Roosevelt
Tag: solitude
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May 2026 was a month of feeling everything, protecting everything, and losing nothing that actually mattered. 146 days completely sober. 71 days emotionally clean. 210.3 miles walked. Got hit by a mail truck and walked away. Felt the grief. Honored the nervous system. Held the boundaries. Said goodbye to what wasn’t safe. Said hello to…
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Bison don’t run from storms. They charge straight into them. Head down. Horns forward. This is a collection of wisdom from real conversations with real people: about addiction and shame, grief making space, shedding the skin you’ve outgrown, learning that solitude is freedom, and what unconditional love actually looks like when it’s real. If you…
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Fear of being alone drove every single destructive pattern and decision I ever made. I didn’t know that for most of my life. I just kept running the program. On May 6, 2026, my no contact order expired at midnight and I walked to the pier alone, happy, sober, and left there completely free for…
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People have been continuing to label and stigmatize me. For months. A lot of people. A lot of labels. And it hurts. They all seem to have a name for what I am doing in my life now. They are all wrong. Isolating. Manic-bullshit. Avoidant. Lonely. Shutting down. Concerning. Worrying. Arrogant. Self-centered. Narcissist. The unsolicited…
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Ego death isn’t a breakthrough. It’s not enlightenment. It’s not a glow-up. It’s the violent collapse of an identity that was keeping you alive while quietly killing you. I ended patterns that were destroying me and detonated my nervous system in the process. I stopped avoiding. I stopped numbing. I stopped performing stability for other…