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My Recovery and Healing Mainframe.
> life_of_every_party.ps1
> death_of_every_relationship.ps1> recovery.ps1> healing.ps1> love.ps1"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month."-Theodore Roosevelt
DARVO taught me that a factual letter about a legitimate relationship problem isn’t a manic episode and a written boundary doesn’t stop existing because someone says it does. What I learned about deny, attack, reverse victim and offender, and what it looks like when the reversal gets spread to others.
I was not a bad partner in any of my past relationships. I was an unmanaged one, running on addiction, undiagnosed autism and PDA, and patterns that took years to intentify and kill. Understanding why does not excuse the damage. This is the difference between being a villain and being a system with the wrong…
I’ve been performing again, not for other people this time, but for myself. Selfies, smiles, hand hearts, all real, all covering a grief I haven’t let myself feel. The mask is off.
A year ago I walked off a 25 year IT career with no plan and no safety net. Since then I have lost a partnership, an identity, and most of my extended family, and found chemical and emotional sobriety, a personal operating system that actually works for how my brain runs, and the truth that…