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My Recovery and Healing Mainframe.
> life_of_every_party.ps1
> death_of_every_relationship.ps1
> recovery.ps1
> healing.ps1
> love.ps1
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"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month."-Theodore Roosevelt
Tag: estrangement
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A year ago I walked off a 25 year IT career with no plan and no safety net. Since then I have lost a partnership, an identity, and most of my extended family, and found chemical and emotional sobriety, a personal operating system that actually works for how my brain runs, and the truth that…
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November 2023, I stood at Heather Meadows the day before my psychiatric crisis and had no idea what was coming. Today I went back. Same mountain. Not even close to the same person. This is what closing circles actually looks like.
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I have written a lot about what I burned down. The codependency. The enmeshment. The relationship decisions I kept making out of fear, not love. But here is the thing nobody really asks about: what survived? This is the inventory I never saw anyone else do. What the fire actually took. What it didn’t. What…
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People have been continuing to label and stigmatize me. For months. A lot of people. A lot of labels. And it hurts. They all seem to have a name for what I am doing in my life now. They are all wrong. Isolating. Manic-bullshit. Avoidant. Lonely. Shutting down. Concerning. Worrying. Arrogant. Self-centered. Narcissist. The unsolicited…
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Every city has a haunted house. Mine is all of downtown Bellingham. The bars, the alleys, the breakfast tables, the blocked contacts, the empty chairs. I changed my name, got sober, lost almost everyone I knew, and I still have to walk through all of it. Here’s what it looks like when your whole former…