Tag: gratitude


  • Relapsed_At_Midnight_MP4.zip

    Alone on the bridge over Whatcom Creek at midnight, the relapse happened. Thirty one years of buildup, no warning, nobody there to see it. I am not sorry, and honestly, I am proud of it.

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  • I_Gave_Up_MP4.zip

    Today I told someone I bought flowers for that the sunflower always faces the sun, a metaphor almost identical to that of the bison. Earlier this year, I deleted a song because it hurt too much to hear, then danced to it again and found out grief was never something you delete, only something you…

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  • Sacred_Pain_MP4.zip

    Pain means I still have a heart. It’s better to feel it than to be indifferent. A song, a video, and the truth that love doesn’t disappear when it changes, it just asks to be carried differently.

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  • July_2026_Liminality_JPG_MP4.zip

    I almost walked past a footpath that changed my whole month. Same beach, same stairs, same everything, until one small path I’d never noticed dropped me into a ravine I didn’t know existed. Turns out the dead end had the gold at the bottom of it the whole time, and so did the rest of…

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  • 200_Days_Of_Clarity_And_Hell_MP4.zip

    Two hundred days completely sober from every chemical, gotten in the hardest chapter of my life. Grief lodge, amends without asking forgiveness, being labeled by people I once trusted and loved, months of nervous system hell, a five year no contact order finally expiring, the manifesto that guided me, a peer support circle that never…

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