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My Recovery and Healing Mainframe.
> life_of_every_party.ps1
> death_of_every_relationship.ps1
> recovery.ps1
> healing.ps1
> love.ps1
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"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month."-Theodore Roosevelt
Tag: grief
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I love everyone unconditionally. Including people who have hurt me. Including people who have done unforgivable things. Not because I’m noble. Because I understand that if you strip away every trauma and every adverse thing a person has ever experienced, nobody is actually a bad person. Nobody. Not one single person.
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Standing in a sold out crowd of 10,000 people in Seattle on Saturday night, with lasers splitting the air above my head and bass moving through my chest and my platonic love wrapped around me and 82 days of complete sobriety underneath all of it, I started crying. Not the polite kind. The kind that…
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I have written a lot about what I burned down. The codependency. The enmeshment. The relationship decisions I kept making out of fear, not love. But here is the thing nobody really asks about: what survived? This is the inventory I never saw anyone else do. What the fire actually took. What it didn’t. What…
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When you change in a way that is real and visible and costs you everything, some people will reach for a clinical word to explain it. Manic-bullshit. Episode. Red flag. They are not doing it to help you. They are doing it because your transformation makes them uncomfortable, and a diagnosis is cleaner than accountability.…
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Every city has a haunted house. Mine is all of downtown Bellingham. The bars, the alleys, the breakfast tables, the blocked contacts, the empty chairs. I changed my name, got sober, lost almost everyone I knew, and I still have to walk through all of it. Here’s what it looks like when your whole former…