Tag: guilt


  • I_Found_God_v1.zip

    Six or seven years ago, three Bellingham Police Department units pulled into a parking lot behind my Jeep and I didn’t even notice them following me. They didn’t take me to jail. They took me to One Central. That psychiatric hospitalization was a single link in a chain of events that stretches back to the…

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  • Time_To_Wake_Up_v1.zip

    Standing in a sold out crowd of 10,000 people in Seattle on Saturday night, with lasers splitting the air above my head and bass moving through my chest and my platonic love wrapped around me and 82 days of complete sobriety underneath all of it, I started crying. Not the polite kind. The kind that…

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  • State_Trooper_Asked_Me_A_Question_v1.zip

    I have written a lot about what I burned down. The codependency. The enmeshment. The relationship decisions I kept making out of fear, not love. But here is the thing nobody really asks about: what survived? This is the inventory I never saw anyone else do. What the fire actually took. What it didn’t. What…

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  • Unapologetically_Clean_Conscience_v1.zip

    I need to tell you what healing actually looks like. Not the version people post about. The quiet, unglamorous, random-Tuesday version. This one is about the clean conscience, the cockroach energy, the freedom, and a guy who woke up one day and couldn’t believe his own life.

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  • Ghosts_v1.zip

    Every city has a haunted house. Mine is all of downtown Bellingham. The bars, the alleys, the breakfast tables, the blocked contacts, the empty chairs. I changed my name, got sober, lost almost everyone I knew, and I still have to walk through all of it. Here’s what it looks like when your whole former…

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