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Tukayote Helianthus v2
Walking away from suffering.Walking towards love.With intention.
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Tag: medication
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For years I thought refusing to accept my bipolar made me strong. It was denial, and underneath it was grief I didn’t want to feel. Acceptance isn’t quitting treatment. It’s quitting the fight against what’s permanent, whether that’s a diagnosis or a conflict that’s never going to change. Sometimes no response is a response. Good…
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I built an operating system named after myself, adopted a bison as a personality, A doctor also casually dropped the word cancer on me a month ago and then just moved on with her day, so I’m still waiting to find out if she meant it or was just testing my vocabulary. Happy birthday to…
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I know what real mania looks like, and a lot of what got called mania wasn’t it. Here’s what real mania was for me, what recovery looks like now, and how I hold my boundaries.
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May 2026 was a month of feeling everything, protecting everything, and losing nothing that actually mattered. 146 days completely sober. 71 days emotionally clean. 210.3 miles walked. Got hit by a mail truck and walked away. Felt the grief. Honored the nervous system. Held the boundaries. Said goodbye to what wasn’t safe. Said hello to…
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Six or seven years ago, three Bellingham Police Department units pulled into a parking lot behind my Jeep and I didn’t even notice them following me. They didn’t take me to jail. They took me to One Central. That psychiatric hospitalization was a single link in a chain of events that stretches back to the…