2KVYOT3.L0VE
Tukayote Helianthus v2
Walking away from suffering.Walking towards love.With intention.
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Tag: shame
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Three days of real peace. Then Thursday happened and my nervous system decided to manufacture a full-blown crisis out of thin air. This is what it looks like when your rational mind is miles ahead and your body is still running trauma drills. The view from up here is worth everything it cost.
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I spent months grieving what I lost. Then one Tuesday the grief shifted into something I didn’t have a word for yet: bewilderment, and a deep, almost embarrassing “what was I tolerating?” I had been pouring everything into people, whether or not it ever came back, and calling it love when it was really fear.…
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There’s a moment in recovery where you stop making excuses for what you’re seeing. I stopped explaining it away, gave it nothing, and kept living my life out loud. Then I found the light at the end of the tunnel, and it was me.
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I woke up crying with grief and confusion I still hadn’t fully untangled. I had believed in something completely and poured everything into it, and then it ended in a way that took months to make sense of. Dancing to Over My Head at high tide became the only honest response. No resolution, no easy…
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These months did not break me. They refined me. I screamed into the ocean. I cried alone. I walked through rain and sunlight. I watched the sun set from the safety of the pier whenever I could. I wrote amends. I kept my boundaries. I stayed true when it would have been easier to disappear.…