2KVYOT3.L0VETukayote Helianthus v2Walking away from suffering.Walking towards love.With intention.
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August was the month accountability stopped being a concept and became a daily habit. Five farmers markets, eighteen pier sunsets, two hundred sixty miles of walking, and 43,200 TMS pulses later, I held people responsible for the harm they caused, did not accept their anger as a consequence, and came out the other side finally…
I have some big news. And I also want to share what gaslighting actually does to your grip on reality, why doubting yourself becomes a reflex, and why the research on it is a lot more serious than people realize.
The first time someone called me manic, I was right. I was being cheated on, and I ended up with six rounds of ECT for noticing. This is about what real mania looks like, what asking for accountability looks like, and how a diagnosis gets used as an alibi.
Alone on the bridge over Whatcom Creek at midnight, the relapse happened. Thirty one years of buildup, no warning, nobody there to see it. I am not sorry, and honestly, I am proud of it.
Pain means I still have a heart. It’s better to feel it than to be indifferent. A song, a video, and the truth that love doesn’t disappear when it changes, it just asks to be carried differently.