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My Recovery and Healing Server.
> life_of_every_party.ps1
> death_of_every_relationship.ps1
> toxic_patterns.ps1.
> self_awareness_and_living_amends.ps1
> sobriety_and_recovery.ps1
> healing_and_unmasking.ps1
>
// Core Information System //
Category: Healing
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Farmers market cherries, a hug and sweet smiles from a sparkling ray of sunshine, a skirt that won in La Conner, and a twenty foot drop I didn’t fall into at Clayton Beach. A silly, fearless, unmasked 201st day of sobriety, and I am the captain of it.
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Two hundred days completely sober from every chemical, gotten in the hardest chapter of my life. Grief lodge, amends without asking forgiveness, being stalked and labeled by people I once trusted and loved, months of nervous system hell, a five year no contact order finally expiring, the manifesto that guided me, a peer support circle…
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I was not a bad partner in any of my past relationships. I was an unmanaged one, running on addiction, undiagnosed autism and PDA, and patterns that took years to intentify and kill. Understanding why does not excuse the damage. This is the difference between being a villain and being a system with the wrong…
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I’ve been performing again, not for other people this time, but for myself. Selfies, smiles, hand hearts, all real, all covering a grief I haven’t let myself feel. The mask is off.
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A 3,908.7 mile, thirteen day road trip through ten state crossings, two national parks, and one Ministry of Statistical Information Department worth of nerdy data. Also: astrophotography four years in the making, a photo recaptured after twenty two years, and the moment I chose to turn the car around 12 days earlier than originally intended.