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My Recovery and Healing Mainframe.
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"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month."-Theodore Roosevelt
Tag: avoidance
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I have written a lot about what I burned down. The codependency. The enmeshment. The relationship decisions I kept making out of fear, not love. But here is the thing nobody really asks about: what survived? This is the inventory I never saw anyone else do. What the fire actually took. What it didn’t. What…
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Awareness isn’t a step on the road to change. It is the entire road. Without it, you’re not on the road at all. You’re just in a field somewhere doing donuts in the dark. From peer support work to IFS parts work to a stormy Tuesday in Bellingham where I’m still processing a decision that…
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I need to tell you something about what healing actually looks like. Not the version people post about. Not the aesthetic. The real thing. The quiet, unglamorous, nobody-is-watching, random-Tuesday version of it. My last post was a big unnecessary explanation I should have never written. It’s the last one they’re getting. This one is about…
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When you change in a way that is real and visible and costs you everything, some people will reach for a clinical word to explain it. Manic-bullshit. Episode. Red flag. They are not doing it to help you. It is DARVO. They are doing it because your transformation makes them uncomfortable, and gaslighting you and…
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People have been continuing to label and stigmatize me. For months. A lot of people. A lot of labels. And it hurts. They all seem to have a name for what I am doing in my life now. They are all wrong. Isolating. Manic-bullshit. Avoidant. Lonely. Shutting down. Concerning. Worrying. Arrogant. Self-centered. Narcissist. The unsolicited…