49206C6F766520796F752E
My Recovery and Healing Mainframe.
> life_of_every_party.ps1
> death_of_every_relationship.ps1
> recovery.ps1
> healing.ps1
> love.ps1
>
"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month."-Theodore Roosevelt
Tag: cravings
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Every city has a haunted house. Mine is all of downtown Bellingham. The bars, the alleys, the breakfast tables, the blocked contacts, the empty chairs. I changed my name, got sober, lost almost everyone I knew, and I still have to walk through all of it. Here’s what it looks like when your whole former…
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Let me tell you a little story about a guy I used to know. Drunk. Psychotic. Angry. Drug fueled. The life of every party and the death of every relationship. In a two-year span of time, he attended 94 shows at the Wild Buffalo House of Music, high on drugs and alcohol every time. And…
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They broke my trust again. They tried to stalk me again. They violated my boundaries again. They tried their best to hurt me, again. These people from my past showed their true colors again in a way I couldn’t miss. A performance I’d experienced before so many times, and I just finally had my eyes…
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For a long time, accountability felt like punishment. Like a tally of my failures. Like proof that something was wrong with me. What I’m learning now is that real accountability is quieter and far more personal. It’s the willingness to look directly at my patterns without flinching, without turning that awareness into self-hatred, and turning…
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Twenty-six years in a row I had someone by my side. Someone to pour my love into. Someone to anchor the day. This year, I’m alone. Because of my old patterns. This Valentine’s Day almost swallowed me whole until I rewrote the story. I walked the city hand-hearting strangers, giving away balloons, trolling grumpy men,…