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I am Still Here and I am Showing Up Every Day For Myself and Others

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This list didn’t come from a single moment of insight or a burst of confidence. It came from showing up day after day and choosing to notice what I do right instead of only tracking where I fall short. I have been writing down one thing each day for several weeks and compiled the growing list today.

These are not accomplishments meant to impress anyone. They are qualities, behaviors, and choices that reflect my integrity, self-respect, and forward movement.

I’m writing this as an act of honesty and self-recognition. Not because I’ve arrived, but because I’m still here. Still trying. Still learning. Still choosing myself.

I am completely owning the mistakes I have made.

I am being accountable through everything I do to improve myself moving forward and not repeating any of the harmful patterns and mistakes of my past.

I am making amends where I can with people I have harmed and I am living my amends through demonstrated changes.

I am improving humanity by improving the ways I live my life.

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How I Am Owning The Harm I Have Done.
How I Am Being Accountable For It.
How I Am Making And Living My Amends.

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I am being self-compassionate and real

• I am accepting that I am not a perfect person and I am giving myself grace when I unintentionally make new mistakes.
• I am not giving up on any of the challenges I am experiencing and I’m not trying to be perfect.
• I am committing myself to forward movement and healthy decisions, while having grace and releasing perfection for the times when I don’t.
• I am releasing perfection with my routines and taking breaks when needed.

I am being self-aware and honest

• I am being honest with myself about my behaviors, patterns, anxieties, triggers, urges, and decisions without shaming myself.
• I am being aware of my body and mind, and what they need, and giving that to them.
• I am realizing where I fall short with some connections and immediately owning it and making changes.
• I am recognizing that I haven’t been giving as much as I take in some of my connections.

I am being emotionally responsible and regulating myself

• I am immediately confronting my feelings and urges and responding to them in healthy ways without causing harm.
• I am not repeating emotionally unsafe behaviors of my past.
• I am being vulnerable and grieving openly without any fear of what others may think.
• I am performing opposite action and doing social activities when my emotional mind was telling me to isolate.

I am committed to personal growth and problem-solving

• I am tenaciously moving my life forward in a way that reduces suffering and harm to myself and others.
• I am never giving up on trying new things when other things don’t work out.
• I am never quitting moving forward with things I believe in, including my ability to love myself and be happy in life.
• I am committing myself to figuring out hard things.
• I am ethically solving problems and developing remediation plans that can be adjusted as needed.
• I am reducing my suffering, the suffering I cause others, by eliminating my toxic patterns.
• I am pursuing joy, happiness, and emotional stability.

I am acting in integrity and making safe choices

• I am dedicating myself to safe behaviors and acting in integrity with myself and others at all times.
• I am avoiding my urges to engage in unhealthy behaviors and staying focused on forward movement in my life.
• I am not giving into cravings for alcohol or drugs and sitting with them instead of acting on my urges to use.

I am listening to my body and protecting my health

• I am remaining sober through all challenges I have experienced.
• I am not ignoring physical injuries and reducing further harm by resting from activities that cause them.
• I am listening to my body and openly sharing my needs for rest with people I had scheduled activities with, instead of pushing through pain and putting others needs first.
• I am not pushing myself physically when I am in pain.
• I am taking care of myself by showering daily and prioritizing my sleep.
• I am taking naps when my body asks for rest.
• I am caring for myself when I am feeling physically unwell.
• I am recognizing when I feel mentally and/or emotionally unwell and still continuing to take all of my medications as prescribed.

I am being thoughtful of my relationships and connections

• I am promptly owning what I have done to others, immediately demonstrating accountability through correcting my behaviors and patterns moving foward, quickly making amends where I can, and living my amends, always.
• I am showing up for my daughters in an emotionally safe way.
• I am showing up for people who love me unconditionally, and reciprocating the same for them.
• I am staying in touch with people close to me.
• I am continuing to stay in contact with people who have never left my side.
• I am being the bigger person when others are engaging in hurtful behaviors towards me, and not seeking revenge with them or returning fire to them.
• I am not taking people’s criticism personally and still being open to and learning from what they have to say.

I am living with authenticity, expression, and joy

• I am using my lessons in life to benefit humanity by sharing them with others openly and with vulnerability.
• I am enjoying writing and sharing my journey, to hold myself accountable and help others who may be struggling with similar battles.
• I am intentionally putting in time and work into maintaining and following my manifesto and sharing it publicly to hold myself accountable to it.
• I am intentionally putting in time and work into maintaining and affirming to myself what I have written in my biography and sharing it publicly to hold myself accountable to it.
• I am reigniting my old passions and breathing life into them again.
• I am doing all of the things I want to do in life without letting fear or anxiety control me or affect them.
• I am not allowing others to dictate how I am choosing to personally improve my life and I am ethically living my life the way I want to.
• I am being myself completly, genuinely, and authentically, and without performances or fake personas.
• I am not rapidly escalating relationships, romance, or intimacy out of fears.

I am being resilient and persistent

• I am listening to my nervous system and leaving uncomfortable activities and situations instead of pushing through them.
• I am persevering with movinging forward with my life even when my body and mind aren’t feeling well.

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This list isn’t meant to be static or complete. It’s a snapshot of who I am right now, in motion, in process, and still choosing to live with intention. It is how I am owning my mistakes and being accountable for them. It is about how I am living the amends I may or may not be able to make with others.

On days when doubt is loud or old narratives try to take over, this is proof that I am already doing the work. Respecting myself doesn’t mean I never struggle. It means I keep showing up with honesty, care, and courage anyway. And that is something worth naming, remembering, and continuing to build on.

In the words of Eminem,
“Success is my only mother****n’ option, failure’s not…
this may be the only opportunity that I got…”

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