PS C:\> tar -xf The_Power_And_Release_Of_Control_v1.zip
Application_Install.exe
You can’t control other people. You can’t control what they do, how they feel, or whether they understand you. You can’t control the weather, a flat tire, a random injury, or any of the millions of things life throws at you with zero warning. What you can control is yourself. Your reactions. Your choices. Your time, your body, your truth, your love. That’s it. That’s the whole thing.
And here’s the part that takes a while to really land: no response is a solid response. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is delete the draft, close the tab, and walk away. Releasing the need to control what you can’t control isn’t weakness. It’s not giving up. It’s actually the whole game. Sit down and write out what you have power over, and what you don’t. Then let the second list go. Turn that energy toward yourself, toward love, toward healing.
That is the application. The rest is the source code.
Source_Code.txt
The open-source code below is free, for you to analyze, modify, and build your own application with.
> rebooting from cached state: affirmations.log
“I want to heal my inner child and I can start taking small steps every day. I know of people who have done the work to heal trauma, so it can be possible for me too. I can learn and heal as I figure things out in this new journey. I release my need for perfection and replace it with love and compassion for myself.” — Tukayote, December 2022.
Five months later, I am rewording it to: “I am firmly on the path of healing my inner child and I continue taking small steps every day to become more secure in myself, and my attachment to others. I know many people doing this work to heal their trauma, and it inspires me to continue doing the same thing for myself. I am learning so much, and healing so many things in this journey. I continue to release my need for perfection in myself and with others, and replace it with unconditional love for myself and those around me. I release my expectations of others and realize that there is nothing outside of myself that I can truly control.”
It is fun to go back and look at where I was then and where I am today.
> null return on send(): silence.exe
I drafted an e-mail to a former partner this afternoon, one who I have had problems with for over a year, and who I had to sever the relationship with a few months ago. Then I deleted it. Without sending it. Something I couldn’t even think of being able to do five months ago, and something I couldn’t do three days ago when I hit send on the message I impulsively typed out in response to this person trying to interfere with my life again. I was giving them power and control over my emotions by engaging with them, yet again.
And today, just three days later, after deep reflection and a 12 mile walk last night, I processed yet more emotions and came to new conclusions. I don’t owe them anything. And there is nothing I can say that will get through to them and make them understand the hurt, pain, and damage I feel from them. I can’t control their feelings or emotions. I can’t make them understand things the way that I do.
There truly is nothing outside of myself that I can control.
I can’t control this person who continues down a destructive path and tries to pull me in. I can’t control their desire to control me. I can only control my choices, especially how I respond to what they are doing. And no response is a solid response.
> permissions audit: access_control.cfg
Sometime, also about five months ago, I sat down and listed all of the things I can control. Humans by nature like to feel like they are in control of something, and it was important for me to not feel powerless or helpless. So here is my list. I keep it on my phone, read it frequently, and when the inspiration hits, I add more to it. It keeps growing, but at the root of it all is one word: myself. I can only control myself. I can’t control other people and what they do, the weather, random injuries, flat tires, or any of the millions of things life dishes out to us with little or no advanced warning. Just me. Only me.
Things I can control and have power over:
- My reactions to anything I face
- My emotions and how I respond to triggers
- My truth
- My commitments to myself and others
- My time and how I spend it
- My body and what I do with it
- My mental/physical/emotional/sexual health
- My schedule and how I fill it
- My diet
- My substance, nicotine, and alcohol use
- My money
- My choice of friends and relationships
- My sexuality
- My love and who/how I share it with others
- My gifts and acts of service
- My communication
- My volunteerism
- My employment
Things I can’t control and have no power over:
- Literally everything else
> releasing the process: output.log
So, take a few minutes to write down what you have control over and the things you don’t. Then examine the things you don’t have control over, especially the ones that are causing you turmoil, emotions, and wasted energy. Stop trying to control them and give the control and power back to what you can control: yourself. Release expectations of others and yourself; they only serve to disappoint you in the long run. Turn to love and compassion for yourself and the healing journey you are on. And share that love and compassion with everyone and everything in your world, even your enemies.
Have a lovely day my friends and followers. I love all of you and hope this helps you take control of yourself and release your need to control anything that you simply cannot — which is almost everything, except you.
Love Always,
Tukayote ❤️