Package Contents
Application_Install.exe
Sometimes you know a change has to happen and you still execute it terribly. You burn things down in a panic, you hurt people you cared about, you make a mess, and then you have to live with all of it. That is what happened to me. I was running from my own shadows and making drastic moves without any grace or warning. Resetting my life and the subsequent changes were necessary. The way I made them was not.
The lesson is not that burning bridges is always wrong. The lesson is that when you finally stop running and start healing, you have to own the wreckage you left behind. No excuses. No blame-shifting. Just accountability, remorse, and a commitment to doing it differently going forward. You can blow it all up and still choose to be better on the other side of the explosion.
That is the application. The rest is the source code.
Source_Code.txt
The open-source code below is free, for you to analyze, modify, and build your own application with.
> sudden_exit: ZEROIZED.log
I suddenly disappeared. Wait? What?
I completely vanished. Gone.
404 Error: Page Not Found.
I didn’t slowly drift away. I didn’t “take a break.”
I deleted everything. Permanently. Intentionally. For a reason.
My old website: Deleted.
My Instagram page and content: Deleted.
My Facebook account, pages, and content: Deleted.
My Threads account, and content: Deleted.
Flickr: Gone
Vimeo: Gone
LinkedIn: Gone.
Meetup: Gone
YouTube Channel: Gone.
Google Photo Albums: Left the ones people added me to and deleted every photo I uploaded
Photography website: Gone.
Persona and Performance: Gone.
I did the equivalent of a hard-reset on my life. I zeroized my way of life, in a way that nothing could be recovered.
In cryptography, zeroization is the process of completely and permanently erasing sensitive data, such as private keys, passwords, and certificates, from a device’s memory to prevent unauthorized access. It works by overwriting the storage sectors with zeros, cutting off power to volatile RAM, or destroying the master encryption key, rendering any remaining data entirely unrecoverable. This security measure is often triggered automatically as a self-defense mechanism during physical tamper attempts, or manually when decommissioning hardware, ensuring that even if a device is stolen, the cryptographic secrets remain safe from hackers.
Zeroizing your life is lighting the match on your past, watching the wreckage burn to ash, and walking into the desert with absolutely nothing but the clothes on your back. It is not a clean move to a new apartment or a polite transition; it is the ultimate, irreversible panic button where you completely obliterate the old, toxic network of bad habits, addictions, destructive patterns, and unhealthy connections so thoroughly that they can never track you down again. You overwrite the chaos with a clean slate of absolute silence, wiping out most of your social circle and cutting off the power to every toxic bridge you ever built. This ensures that even if your old ghosts and demons come looking for you, there is nothing left of you in that world to find, you have vanished entirely, leaving no breadcrumbs, no forwarding address, and absolutely no way back.
People have been wondering where I went. A lot of people didn’t even notice…
I had left and forward-deployed to a new, emerging, and foreign war with my patterns and behaviors.
I stepped away from nearly everything in my life, especially the internet, and that was just a step in a very deep-cleaning of myself. A big and necessary step towards figuring out who I really am.
Last year, hands down, was the most transformative year of my life. I walked right out of 2025 feeling freedom from a lifetime of burdensome patterns, and terrible people.
> deploy_new_path: forward_momentum.exe
2026 is already well on its way to become even more transformative. I am on a big, new, and exciting path in my life, with a lot of really special people. Great things are happening all the time.
> commit_history: scorched_earth_v0.log
The START of My Zero-Return Recovery
My life really needed a big change. The universe abruptly dropped this reality in my lap one day and said “good luck, you are going to need it.” It was a surprise nobody, even myself, saw coming.
The reality was true. People have told me for years that “I have a type” and it couldn’t be more true. But it wasn’t so much that I had a certain type of person I was attracted to…but more that I had a plethora of patterns that lead me to certain types of people. Birds of a feather, flock together, they say.
I really was stuck in a lot of ways. My shadows were chasing me. I was living a life full of self-hatred and shame…and running from it all. I was being taken advantage of and mistreated. I was numbing myself with 5 grams of weed every day. Eventually all of it caught up to me and I began changing everything in my life.
Drastically. In very unpopular ways.
Nobody in their right mind would have advised to make the changes the way I did. But there really was no other way. Once I had the awareness of the hell I WAS CHOOSING to live in, I couldn’t continue choosing it. It all had to stop, and stop immediately.
The changes I made were terribly executed, not going to lie. Terribly timed. Terribly delivered. Terribly received. Terribly upsetting. Terribly destructive. Terribly hurtful. And terribly necessary to be done that exact way.
The unanticipated changes blindsided people, catching them completely off guard and unprepared. Mostly people who were using me.
The changes uprooted many of my connections, mostly the same people.
The way I made the changes confused a lot of people, mostly the same people.
I’m dedicated to being more graceful and thoughtful in how I make changes moving forward. Being aware of how my changes affect others. Lesson learned. I also have zero regrets about doing it the way I did, because there really was no other way to do it.
I made a big mess of a lot of things in this process. I know this. I own this. The mess was a result of years of messes I made. Messy things are not simple to clean up.
That said, I did burn these bridges to the ground. It was no accident. It was not to intentionally harm others; in the moment it was absolutely necessary to begin facing the big shadows emerging and to take back the steering wheel of my life.
I’ve been rejected, abandoned, lost a lot of what I thought was love, and lost a lot of what I thought were special people as a result. And all them people who ditched me, I am so glad they did. They were all piles of garbage and they removed themselves before I had to.
Dozens, if not hundreds, of people are permanently gone from my life now. Even though absolutely necessary, this realization deeply stings. I had an entire network of unhealthy shit all around me.
> runtime_config: TuOS_v_now.sys
My operating system, TuOS, is the way I live and operate now. Take it or leave it, it’s not about you, it’s about me.
I’m walking away from almost everything I used to have and know in my life. Leaving so much behind. For good. Forever.
I’m being accountable for my decisions and changes by identifying and changing my unhelpful patterns. Changing who and what I allow in all aspects of my life now. Seeing my shadow and no longer ignoring it. Healing it. Eliminating suffering. Eliminating people using me and controlling me. Eliminating the ways I used to create suffering for myself and others.
I’m severing ties to everything I don’t need anymore or that causes me suffering. I don’t care who it is, or what it is.
I’m learning big lessons, and gaining priceless wisdom, from reflecting on a lifetime of decisions that weren’t fully aligned with my wants, needs, values, morals, and ethics. These decisions in my life hurt me, and hurt others, time after time.
They say, “know better, do better.” That is my only option and mission in life.
Doing better for my sake and for the sake of everyone around me.
I’m doing this in every aspect of my life now.
So I can be who I really am.
I am intentionally choosing how I live now, and how I operate. Hence, the operating system I mentioned above.
