Package Contents
Application_Install.exe
On September 8th I made the decision to cut the last cord to a source of suffering I couldn’t reduce any other way, and on the 20th the last part of that decision was implemented in full, and I went completely off the radar. I used to run from every storm. This one I walked into on purpose.
I’m happy, sober, safe, mentally well, and remain engaged with my professional supports.
Loving people unconditionally never meant unlimited access to me. I wish everyone involved less suffering and more peace, from a distance and with no contact. I’ve asked that contact about me through other people stop, and I won’t be responding if it occurs in the future.
Today and moving forward I am very intentionally living my life completely out of view, off the radar, and out of reach to nearly everyone at this time, and for as long as I feel the need to.
Updates to this website will be limited to recovery lessons and wisdom, and will not include specifics of my daily life.
My email is at the bottom of the site if you need to reach me.
That is the application. The rest is the source code.
Source_Code.txt
The open-source code below is free, for you to analyze, modify, and build your own application with.
> the decision I made on the inside: severed_cord.log
On September 8th I made the hardest decision of my life and chose to sever the last cord tied to a source of suffering I could not reduce, eliminate, or change any other way. For most of my adult life I ran from every storm, and every storm I avoided just kept growing while I looked away. Not anymore. I’m severing. Today the last piece of that decision from 12 days ago was implemented in full and I’m disappearing from view. I’m done. I’m completely done.
The last video until I feel safe again, recorded 9/18/26.
> what recovery looks like from here: work_log.DEF
Here is what I have done and continue to do to maintain and protect my recovery and emotional wellbeing, day after day:
I attend weekly therapy and follow my psychiatric treatment.
I identified 25 unhealthy patterns and did the work to eliminate them.
I wrote a comprehensive manifesto, TuOS, memorized it, and follow it.
I set protective boundaries with people and I keep them.
I identify suffering and take steps to reduce or eliminate it.
I look deeply inward and do the shadow work around it.
I stay away from mental poisons like the news and social media.
I sleep 8 hours a night and take naps.
When I identified passive suicidality, I walked into a psychiatric facility and asked for help.
I do session after session of IFS, excavating the parts of myself that caused damage.
I eliminated alcohol, and in the middle of the hardest months of my life, cannabis too.
I attend weekly support groups.
I provide peer support and maintain the certifications that go with it.
I wrote public amends to people I hurt.
I did near-daily TMS sessions for over two months without missing one.
I feel the guilt. I grieve.
I have been sober through all of it. Present through all of it. Feeling every single thing, the grief and the guilt and the fear and the loss and the disorientation and the relief and the love, without numbing any of it. That is what doing the work looks like. That is what self love looks like when it is unglamorous and grinding and costs you everything you thought you needed.
I have done and continue to do all of those things. Every single one of them. Documented, witnessed, supported by my treatment team from every angle, sustained across months.
My three providers know my full picture. I’ve been safe and stable, mania and bipolar episode free, since my psychiatric hospitalization in November 2023, six weeks before my alcohol sobriety. I’ve also had severe anxiety and emotional distress for the last ten months, and it has needed medical care because of what it has done to my body and nervous system.
I’m a disabled veteran who has carried trauma in my body and mind that most people will never come close to understanding. What I’ve been through nearly killed me. Not once. Multiple times. I have stood at edges that I am not going to describe again and somehow found a reason to step back. I have fought my way through addiction. I have identified and eliminated 25 toxic patterns I was living in. I have lost my entire identity. I have rebuilt myself from nothing, slowly, painfully, and with a lot of help from people who believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. I am still rebuilding. Every single day.
I fiercely protect this rebuilding, healing, inner work, stability, recovery, and emotional growth.
Everyone gets to choose their path in life. I’m choosing less suffering myself. ❤️
> a boundary I will keep: access_closed.CONFIG
Severed was the gentle version, the one where I still love people unconditionally and wish them less suffering from a careful distance. I still do. This is what it looks like on the outside.
People have called my friends, family, the police, and crisis lines about me. I’m safe, sober, and in treatment with three providers who know the full picture.
I’ve asked that contact about me through other people stop, and I won’t respond. Access to me, emotionally and physically, is closed.
Whatever pain is behind the crisis calls, I hope it eases for them. I can’t be where it lands anymore.
I am going off the radar effective today.
Today I began living my life the way I want, with complete autonomy and freedom…and without all that suffering.
Timely, detailed, and/or specific information on this website about what I am doing in my life to include information about my schedule and activities, monthly recaps, and photography updates are paused indefinitely until I feel safe again. I will still be writing about what I am learning in my recovery journey, but information outside of that will be very limited and generic.
I also want you to know I am still around, I’m happy, I’m living my best life, and I’m doing well in all aspects of it. I’m still long-distance walking, watching sunsets, taking photos, hiking, dancing, enjoying the waterfront, and doing all the things I have always loved and enjoyed. You simply won’t see me or have access to me anymore when I am doing any of it. These aspects of my life are now completely private and no longer in view.
I am remaining connected with an intentionally limited number of trusted associates of mine, they continue to have access to me, and I’m not isolating. Outside of them, I am very intentionally going to be hard to contact. If you are not one of them, it’s nothing personal, it’s simply what I need to do to reduce my suffering in this moment. I will be back at some point down the road.
To those, due to personal safety concerns, I have chosen to love with clearly communicated and permanent no-contact boundaries, I wish them less suffering and more peace than they have ever known. I’m not angry, and I’m not coming back.
I mean every word of this boundary. This decision is final.
That said, if anyone needs to contact me, my email address is listed at the bottom of the website.
I am 2KVYOT3. I am unrecognizable. I am love. And I am at peace.
I hope you are too.
