PS C:\> tar -xf Anxiety_And_Cravings_v1.zip
Application_Install.exe
Every craving you have ever had — every single one — has anxiety or fear underneath it. The craving isn’t the problem. The craving is the alarm. Something scared a part of you, and now that part is sprinting toward whatever makes the feeling stop, even for a minute. That’s the whole story. That’s the loop.
When your boundaries get pushed and your nervous system goes into overdrive, your body is going to look for a release valve. Sometimes that release valve is a substance, sometimes it’s a behavior, sometimes — if you’re lucky — it’s a 14-minute mile. The work is learning to recognize what’s actually happening underneath the pull, and slowly, patiently, finding new ways to give that part of you what it actually needs.
That is the application. The rest is the source code.
SourceCode.txt
The open-source code below is free, for you to analyze, modify, and build your own application with.
> CRITICAL ERROR: BoundaryViolations.log
Had some boundaries violated recently and I had to stand my ground. That is so much easier said than done. Parts were afraid, anxious, on edge, restless, you know…kinda like last Tuesday. But much lower.
> SYSTEM REBOOT: nervous_system_flush.exe
Decided to “walk the war out of my system.” Moving 2560 pounds of water earlier wasn’t enough already.
Broke a new mile record walking tonight of 14:06 or 4.26mph.
I pushed painfully hard tonight. It’s what my body was craving.
> PACKET DUMP: craving_source_trace.debug
Also known as an escape from anxiety. That’s what is behind every single craving I have ever had. An anxiety/fear part that my dear part Roxy fiercely protects with addictive behaviors.
> SYSTEM UPTIME CHECK: Roxy_status_report.txt
Problem is. Roxy is dopamine girl. Roxy is worn out. She’s tired of “needing” dopamine hits to get by.
She is an important part of me. And part of my 2025 goals is to find a new way to harness her energy and strengths as I continue the lifelong journey of holistic mental health recovery and healing.
Thank you for the comments, support, and love my people!